There - thought that would get your attention. Actually, it wasn't MY bottom, but bottoms in general. As far as I'm aware, my bottom doesn't appear anywhere on the internet. Well, until now.
Since my spectacular riding accident, it's been very painful. I didn't even land on it.
I am amazed that the bottom muscles are used for so many everyday actions like walking and not looking like a cowboy with rickets, lifting things and coughing. Yes COUGHING!
What must have happened, Dr. Google informs me, is that I have a gluteus medius tendon strain injury.Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better.
I am now going to write a screenplay set in Ancient Rome. The protagonist, a gladiator, struggling to succeed since he was run over by a chariot, is to be called Gluteus Medius.
People often ask what inspires writers. Ask no more.