I'm sure I've used this quotation before somewhere. I remember posting an image of Thomas Carlyle and thinking 'he looks about the most bored person I've ever seen.' But perhaps that's why he has the ambition to die of exhaustion?
See what I mean? The epitome of a bored person.
Anyway, I'm feeling close to achieving his ambition after the last three days, which is SO PATHETIC of me.
I think it's to do with different sorts of exhaustion. There's running a marathon exhaustion,
...galloping across Ashdown Forest on Alfie or Poppy exhaustion. That's exhaustion plus exhilaration plus fresh air and exercise. That sort of exhaustion feels wonderful (to me)
Then I thought of the exhaustion following giving birth. The same - apart from the fresh air! (More 'gas and air.') Still, a wonderful feeling.
Then there's the OTHER sort of exhaustion. Working very hard all day on corporate copy. A late night going to a seminar. A late night with guests round for dinner. Getting up at a crazy time. Driving 3 hours along very congested motorways to attend an all day conference where I participated in four workshops. Driving 3 hours home again...
This exhaustion feels horrible. I feel dreadful.
SO...I DO want to die of exhaustion. But it has to be THE RIGHT SORT.