I'm not even going to START with German, Goethe. That would be too, too embarrassing. Mind you, French is bad enough even though we lived there for a couple of years. I can get by but could hardly be called fluent.
Here are some family examples of linguistic prowess:
Me, when son Laurie was in hospital in Grenoble following a snowboarding accident. (Note to snowboarders everywhere: Sambuca + snowboard jump + friend videoing so you want to show off = disaster)
Me: Mon fils a une douleur dans sa poignée!
La poignée = door handle. Le poignet = wrist.
My son, in the same hospital, when asked if he spoke French:
Un petit pois!
Un petit pois = a pea. Un peu = a little bit
My brother when lost in Paris, late for a train:
Où est la guerre?
La guerre = the war. La gare = the station
Well, at least we made Le Effort...