The love that dare not speak its name

 - from the poem "Two Loves" by Lord Alfred Douglas, published in 1894 and mentioned at Oscar Wilde's gross indecency trial.

Gross indecency trial? It makes me sick just to think about it - love between two people being described as gross indecency, I mean. ( I was only going to say 'It makes me sick just to think about it' - and realised that was too ambiguous. Although, anyone who knows me would have understood what I meant.)

It was yesterday's blog not so very much about Shakespeare that brought today's to mind.

I was looking for an image to go with ''What light doth through yonder window break?' and I came across Olivia Hussey again. Juliet in Zefferelli's Romeo And Juliet

So - it was 1968. I was 13. All my friends were besotted with Leonard Whiting.

But not me.

It was my secret. Has remained my secret until today. I was scared to tell anyone. I was confused. I thought I might be gay and in those days it wasn't something that was talked about or accepted in the same way as it is today (mostly!)

I'm not gay. And, oh how I loved Olivia Hussey with a sweet and poetic fervour...

but I can still remember the feelings being tinged a little with shame - which is why I never felt able to speak about it. That is so sad.

I was blessed to have experienced it. Blessed with understanding.

Love to all my gay friends.