G.K.Chesterton - a man who was plainly NOT in a hurry, judging by his physique and general mien. P.G. Wodehouse once described a very loud crash as "a sound like Chesterton falling onto a sheet of tin."
This morning I AM in a hurry. I have someone coming round at 11.30 and shedloads of work to do. So... early to the yard and completed my duties in double-quick time...see, I have control over that.
I don't have control over the way my horses choose to behave. This is quite an admission from someone who claims to be an experienced rider.
Today it was Poppy's turn to be exercised. She has a philosophy. "Your lack of planning is not my emergency." Or to put it into current speak, "Am I bovvered?"
I set off with great vim and vigour. It lasted about a hundred yards. By the way, I'm absolutely NOT a physical weakling. "Come ON, Poppy. I'm in a screaming hurry today." One of her ears twitched. "Are you? Well I'm not."
I struggled up to the end of the lane and back with her. A cunning plan evolved. I'll take her in the field. That field where she bolts and gallops and bucks. So we slogged back.
In the field she...just about managed a few strides of canter. At the cost of me needing oxygen. Another by the way, Poppy is in great shape, well-cared for, properly fed, regularly exercised.
I gave up then. Poppy One. Caroline Nil.
On the way home I stopped off at Hurstwood Feeds and bought something called Propell Plus. Giant sized bottle. I'm not quite clear who will be taking it as a food supplement.
I'm STILL in a hurry with shedloads of work to do. Now I'm in a hurry with shedloads of work to do and also completely worn out and it's only 10.30 in the morning.
Poppy probably has it about right.
Am I bovvered?