Michael Caine said this. I like it!
ANYWAY - today I'm going to an award ceremony. Not the Oscars. Not the BAFTAs. Not even for me. It's for Pete's company - UHV Design. They've won the Queen's Award for Enterprise, for International Trade. Don't ask me what they trade in. If I try to tell you, my brain might explode.
Here is a pretty picture, anyway, just to give you an idea. This is an MD35lBX000Z ISO (top view) Though, of course, I didn't need to tell you that.
The trouble is, I have to get myself into a Director's Wife costume. Not to mention a Director's Wife Persona. The mad purple hair makes it a little tricky to appear civilised and conventional.
Worst of all - THE SHOES. I HATE wearing smart shoes. If you were to ask my feet, they'd tell you they prefer riding boots.
Oooh, those are nice! (not)
I did once win an award, with the Commonwealth War Graves Commission and The History Channel. The Focal International Award for Best Use of Footage in an Educational Film.
The ceremony was at the Savoy. (Get me!) Our particular section was quite well on into the evening. By which time I had drunk much champagne and kicked off my insanely ridiculous shoes, so sure we wouldn't win.
We did win. I had to go up on stage and make a speech. In a split second, I decided NOT to put my shoes back on. (I could hardly walk anyway)
It wasn't until the photographs were taken that I came to and realised that my stockinged feet would be visible to THE WORLD. I started blustering. The man from the BBC said "I did notice you had no shoes and I thought - How cool is that?"
Judicious cropping. You can't see my feet.
But I do look quite short.
Swings and roundabouts.