Saturday, 22 October 2011

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

Jean Louis Rodolphe Agassiz (1807 – 1873), who said this, was a Swiss palaeontologist, glaciologist, geologist and a prominent innovator in the study of the Earth's natural history. So there!

Not bad at drawing either. His thought has been my thought because, you see, I am a writer and therefore I am above such things as earning money. I do it for the ART...I do it because I HAVE TO...I do it because IT'S THERE...and all that tosh.

I'm lucky. Peter works full-time and earns a good salary so I don't actually have to worry overmuch about where the next pennies are coming from and can I afford to feed my starving children?

However, always lurking in the background are certain feelings.
  1. Guilt because I don't contribute that much to the family finances, even though I spend an awful lot of time writing
  2. Contempt for myself because I feel undervalued and I'm not doing anything about it
  3. Misery because if I DO spend money on a treat for myself, I don't really enjoy it because I don't feel I deserve it 
This past two weeks, I HAVE earned a load of money, for a change, by working as hard as two women and a dog and I have something to report:

IT FEELS GOOD 

and

I ENJOYED SPENDING MONEY HAVING A HAIRCUT


and

I AM STILL A WRITER WHO DOES IT FOR THE ART

It IS possible. I'm a happy writer.