Friday, 7 October 2011

How do you plead?

Why, you get down on your knees and grovel. A lot.

Yes, I'm talking to YOU, Peter.

I refer you all to The Case Of The Missing Stiff Handbrush. If, by some remote chance, you have already forgotten about this globally-significant occurrence, read about it HERE

I refer you to the reply, under interrogation, to the question, 'Do you know where my stiff handbrush is?' The reply was, with a sneer, 'It's where you left it.'

WRONG! It is NOT where I left it. It is where you PUT it. Jury, please look at Exhibit 1a.

Exhibit 1a
 This depicts the shelf underneath Peter's workbench in his toolshed, a place where I rarely venture...UNTIL TODAY...when I needed a hacksaw, but that's another story.

Ha! GUILTY AS CHARGED

The 1944 film Gaslight creeps inexorably into my mind. (No I haven't even seen it. I'm WAY too young. I've just HEARD about it)



"Gregory (Charles Boyer) does everything in his power to convince his wife Paula (Ingrid Bergman) that she is going mad, so he can have her certified insane and institutionalized. Then he can search, unimpeded, for her aunt's jewels he believes are hidden in the house...the aunt he has murdered...

Paula loses a brooch that Gregory had given her, despite its having been stored safely in her handbag. A picture disappears from the walls of the house, and Gregory says that Paula took it, but Paula has no recollection of having done so. Paula also hears footsteps coming from above her, in the sealed attic, and sees the gaslights dim and brighten for no apparent reason. Gregory suggests that these are all figments of Paula's imagination."

I expect he also hid her stiff handbrush and then claimed she had lost it somewhere.

I'm on to you, Peter. But first, I must search for my murdered aunt's jewels...

Wait a minute...