Neither I nor the four flippers of the sea-bear of the Boreal ocean have been able to solve the riddle of what it's like to see your film on the big screen.

Comte de Lautréamont almost said this only it was about life.

However, that's what it was like seeing Filth on the big screen yesterday. Surreal.

by Castlepup

Did I enjoy the experience? I can't say I did, exactly. It was NOT that the film wasn't good, it was just that I was kind of paralysed in my head and concentrating on the audience reaction rather than watching the film.

"They should have laughed at that bit. Why didn't they laugh? That bit worked better in the script. Was it my script that wasn't clear enough or the execution? Oh, that bit raised a giggle. Grief, my boy Tim's sitting along the row and the film has degenerated into porn chat...why didn't I think of that before inviting him...aaaaaaaaaaargh..."

For your information, regarding the porn chat...when I set about writing this passage, not gratuitous but crucial to the plot, I hadn't a single CLUE what to say. My sheltered life...

SO...research took the form of going into one of my son's bedrooms (you know who you are!) and lifting up his mattress, where he concealed (ha ha ha) his copies of Barely Legal - a dubious top shelf magazine. I scrunched up my eyes so I didn't have to see the pictures, then took notes from the (raunchy) text. 

The things we do for our art!

Including suffering unnecessarily when I had the amazing chance that so few writers achieve of seeing my work transformed into a film on the big screen!

by Matt Sesow

People see so many movies that when they finally see one not so bad as the others, they think it's great.

An Academy Award means that you don't stink quite as much as your cousin...says Charles Bukowski.

So...today is the premiere of the film I wrote, called Filth...and, by the way, it probably won't be nominated for an Academy Award!

My name TWICE on the poster - AND spelled correctly!

And here is where it will be shown:

And this is how I feel...excited and fearful.

I've not seen it before.

WHAT IF I HATE IT?

“I learned that the richness of life is found in adventure. . . "

"It develops self-reliance and independence. Life then teems with excitement. There is stagnation only in security.”

Yes, whoever you are, William Orville Douglas. Oh - Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States.

To show what a shallow-minded individual I am, I can't see the word Orville without seeing THIS:

 ...and it STILL makes me cringe.

Back to adventure and excitement.

I sent off Of Night And Light this morning.

Last night, I was sent a draft copy of the poster for the film, Filth, for which I wrote the screenplay!

Whooo hooo! AND they spelled my name correctly! TWICE!

My screenplay for the NY director, working title, Creep like a rat, is coming along very well.

I am excited...

I am not stagnating...

The upside of putting my work out there FAR outweighs the downside of possible disappointment.
 

“If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.”

So said Katharine Hepburn. (Beautiful lady.)

It's a risky strategy, as a writer, possibly. My personal taste is a little quirky - no, let me rephrase that - a LOT quirky - so I'm pretty much bound to alienate huge swathes of the general population with my work if I write to please myself. Which means my work may never get published...or be appealing film-wise.

Writing to please other people? Can be soul-destroying. Feels like a sell-out. But perhaps gives you (me?) (one?) a better chance of success?

Filth, as a script, is fairly quirky. Lots of people don't get it. I begin to conclude that I'm WAAAAY too subtle and obscure...

So - yesterday, the director came down from London with the first rough cut. Me - excited but anxious in case I didn't like what he'd done...

It was good! As I imagined it, for the most part. Some bits made me laugh out loud. (It's a black comedy)

And the director asked for another script of mine.

So, at least TWO people are pleased by me doing what interests me!

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Yeah, Woody Allen!

 So I'm DEFINITELY doing something right!

Today is an exciting day for me. The director of my film Filth is coming down to show me the rushes and bringing possible soundtrack music too. The final product is bound for Cannes next year.

By the way, I wrote Filth a few years ago - LONG before the feature film of the same name came out. So THEY copied ME!

Exciting and also a little nervous-making. What if I HATE it?

Gulp!

Bet I'll love it though.

I'll let you know.