I have always believed that copywriting is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes.

With thanks, and slight apologies for changing a couple of words, to Philip Dusenberry, American advertising executive.

Ransom notes! A gap in the market? I shall start a kidnapper client database immediately...

Copywriting profitable? Yes, if you charge fairly (fairly to yourself, I mean!) and have enough clients. As far as clients go, word of mouth has done well for me. I could still do with more, but I'm working on that.

Hint, hint.

Not that I'm begging or anything.

Here's how NOT to attract people to your copywriting services:

Post an advert like this. This is real.  (Name changed out of pity)

"Meet copywriter Willy Wordsmith and learn about the Acellerated Six-Figure Copywriting Program."

Oh yes. EXACTLY the sort of attention to detail and impeccability anyone would jump at with unbounded glee when thinking about hiring a copywriter.

Pretty much like using this image...

...to promote the efficacy of your car valeting business.

That's how not to....

Next...HOW TO?

I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a wearer of new clothes.

Hmmmm, Thoreau is no hypocrite. Not judging by his appearance, at any rate. Sartorial elegance wasn't his thing.

A Joel Beckwith etching

It's not mine either. I favour the Recently Dragged Through A  Hedge Backwards Look.

Hat by Takaya Harayuishi

 And I rather fancy myself as A Bohemian Writer.

 Today, I'm off to meet new clients somewhere east of Colchester. That's not very far from Russia. There will be a lot of smartly-dressed people there. You know, women who wear SHOES and suchlike.

I'll have to look in my wardrobe...

...see if I can find some clothes.