England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

You speak the truth, George Bernard Shaw.

I've just spent a good twenty minutes (actually, a BAD twenty minutes) on the phone waiting for a customer-service representative from my website package provider to pick up...

For some reason, bearing in mind it's a British company, all the sickeningly patronising recorded messages were in 'American.'

After the seventeenth time of hearing THIS...(cue sappy background music)

 "Because of the personal attention given to every caller you may experience a brief delay. Please remain on the line and a representative will assist you momentarily."

...I was ready to scream down the phone 'I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSISTED MOMENTARILY, I WANT TO BE ASSISTED FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES TO RESOLVE MY PROBLEM!' 

Because, you see, in MY language to do something momentarily is to do it for a very brief while - FOR A MOMENT. It doesn't mean IN a brief while.

See? 

Additionally, to me 'a moment' DOES NOT MEAN 23 MINUTES!

Got it?

A slight touch of phone rage, Mrs. Coxon?

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

I have some very dear American friends. It's one of my my dearest wishes to go there one day. Today - Thanksgiving in the USA - this is my tribute to all things American.

 ...Starting with the quote, by Kevin James, American actor. It was one of the very few quotes about Thanksgiving I found that didn't make me want to throw up. I adore my family, I'm thankful when we all sit down together at the meal table, I count my blessings BUT...sicky, saccharine, sweet, slimy sentiment? No thank you.

'Not a good day to be my pants' made me laugh twice over. First because it was inherently funny...

 Second, because I'm British and it always makes me laugh when Americans refer to pants. THESE are pants:

 Got it?

I was asked yesterday, by an American, whether or not we celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK. Well, no. Why would we? It's to remember an event particular to America. We celebrate Christmas.

 However, every year, on this day, I make an American meal, which I've now discovered NO AMERICAN HAS EVER HEARD OF, STILL LESS EATEN. But I make it anyway.

It's called Chicken Maryland and is chicken, (duh!)  sweetcorn, bacon and fried bananas. I would make pumpkin pie too but I'd be the only one in a radius of two miles who'd eat it.

Now that's something sicky, saccharine, sweet and slimy I DO like.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!