Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

Good old Aristophanes. A man after my own heart.

Now - you know my theory about men with beards...

I am unable to say anything clever because a) No-one has passed me a beaker of wine.

b) I have water in my brain (and many other places too.)

This is the result of riding Alfie on Ashdown Forest for an hour and a half in the pouring rain, wearing nothing but a white aertex shirt on the upper half of my body not including my head. Why? Some sort of death wish?

(Note to self: white aertex goes transparent when wet.)

Then I came home, had a hot bath, got into some clean dry clothes and went to the Recycling Centre where...it was pouring with rain and I got drenched AGAIN.

The good bit is it makes my hair extra curly.

The bad bit? What ARE the symptoms for double pneumonia? (What IS double pneumonia? Twice as much pneumonia as regular pneumonia?)

I'm sure I'll survive.