A fat stomach never breeds fine thoughts

 St. Jerome said this. I think he meant it.
He doesn't look as though he's eaten many Cadbury's Creme Eggs in his time.

 I particularly liked his biography.

Profession: Saint
Born: 347
Died: 420






Last night was the first keep fit class. Keep fit is a misnomer. Get fit would be better. I think you're meant to suffer a lot. I didn't actually pass out but my legs turned to jelly.


This morning, Alfie said to me 'Why do you insist on starving me? Look, you can see my ribs!'

Those aren't ribs, Alfie. They're creases in your fat.