That man is a creature that needs order yet yearns for change is the creative contradiction at the heart of the laws which structure his conformity and define his deviancy

That's a long one, with thanks to Freda Adler, criminologist and educator.

I was going to tell you about her, but today I will not, will not, WILL NOT be distracted. Much.

I've always thought my life is like a house of cards - a fragile structure...

...that if one single card is knocked loose then everything will come tumbling down about my ears. So, I do this: I race about dealing (pardon the pun) with all the cards, struggling to keep them in place - my family, marriage, household, work, clients, animals, friends, finances, health and fitness, creative writing, self-esteem...and so on and so on until infinity.

I say to myself - oh well, THAT part of my life is working okay so I'll concentrate on another part for the moment.

It's not a great way to live my life. House of cards...spinning plates...

House of cards AND spinning plates.

I'm committed to finding a way of living my life that's different. No, I'm committed to CREATING a way of living my life that's different.

It's going to take something.

I am a blank slate - therefore I can create anything I want

Spiderman said this.

Or was it Tobey Maquire?

Today, I'm planning to be a blank slate - at least until I start listening to Meg Rosoff. I hope that doesn't make my journey up to London problematic...

And what do I want to create on this blank slate?

Me as a transformed writer who has found her voice.

I'm very excited!